new generation confession

Sometimes when i see people in relationship, i feel bad for myself. I am single and kaile ni relationship ma thina. 0 boyfriends till date. Ma ma k xa kami vanne sochxu. Then i remember all those time when i rejected proposals from boys and regret it. I look at them and think, oh i missed a good one. But then again i think about all those times when my classmates were crying over some fights with their gf/bf and i was in my own world, happy on my own. Yeah i do feel jealous of people in relationship but then i try to make myself feel good by counting the merits of being single. And when people say that you are single because you can't get a guy, it hurts. I look everyday in the mirror and tell myself that i'm beautiful but when i go out and i get taunts from people for being single, i lose all my confidence. Thats why i choose to stay away from the crowd. I have these walls built all around and its hard to let people in. I don't like it when i have to go meet people and chat and all. People say i am boring ang no one would date a girl like me. Well, there goes my confidence down the drain again. Some guys try to use this to their advantage. They flirt and flatter me and think i will fall for it. I am talking from experience.

one guy made me feel so good and all he wanted was my body. thank god i found out the truth early. i was not in a relationship with him, he became my good friend and thought that i would give in if he flatters me. he was already in a relationship and basically he tried to cheat his girl. But this one thing made me doubt everything. Not all guys are same and some were just being good but now i can't trust em. Back in my mind, i remember that one thing and..... I love myself and i have never ever changed myself for anyone but once a while when i see others and listen to them, i feel like i should change. and i am talking about physical appreance. i should break the walls around me and shoud try to trust more but when people judge you based on your appearance you feel so insecure about yourself that you can't break those walls.